Category Archives: Emotional issues

Being with a partner who is depressed

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imgresMy partner is experiencing a depression and sometimes I lose patience with him and I feel that’s not being very helpful.

Would it be helpful to live with someone who is without feelings? Would it be helpful to live with one who is so stoic and perfect? No, that’s unrealistic isn’t it? You must be who you are. And in that there are many different degrees of being human — anger, frustration, these are often the basis of love. Do not worry or question these feelings. You are not destructive. There is nothing within you that destroys. Your feelings are feelings of survival, of free will. It is this that you wish to stir in the one you love. 

You wish to stir his basic need of being and you are responding in all the natural, physical forms. You have not come to this physical plane to be angelic. Although you always radiate love. You are allowed all the emotions  – fear, anger, happiness. Understand that you are often mirroring and this is what he needs.

Sometimes I feel I am being sucked down into that black hole and have to struggle to get out.

Yes, and it is in these times that you must think of your free will, your own survival instinct. This “black hole” does not exist. It is simply a vibration you sense of hopelessness.  This is a part of his existence that he must love. It is a time for him to experience the feeling of not being in control, to feel like a child, to see the weakness of the human existence and find strength in it.

Don’t ever be afraid to show your anger.  He needs to learn that anger doesn’t have to be directed inward, or at any being, but can just be. There are many things within him that are waiting to be discovered.  He feels a need to look well in the eyes of others.  He is a kind and gentle being that has much within him that needs to be let out; temper and tears and anger that he has never expressed. To a father that was never there, to a mother that worried about small things that had little to do with his life. He could never speak of his feelings. Though I am not condemning them. Know that he has every ability to come through this time. He will come through stronger and it will not be a mask; it will be real.

 

The greatest learning the child has is from watching you, mother

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motherandbabyCheenu writes:

I really am down in I spirits and need someone wise to tell me good about myself.  I feel I’m not good mom when I see other moms and perhaps I’m not strong enough person to deal with life focusing on negatives or worrying about so many things. What’s good about me? I feel inferior so many times whether it is looks, being a mom, being a good person. Help me. I really need some encouragement. I need to hear about my strengths. Am I a good mom?  Please  tell me about me. I don’t know my good side!  How  do I overcome my mind ? What am I good at  as a person?

The guide’s response:

Blessed one, a mother that doesn’t have moments of wondering if she is giving that blessed child enough, or if it’s right for that child…. If a mother didn’t have those moments, I would say there was something to worry about. For every mother has moments of wondering and questions, because it is the one path you walk on that you draw from within. And if there a moment within from perhaps a physical experience, or a past life experience, or an understanding that you have, that you must draw on to be for this child.

The natural instinct is to love completely and to give life, nourishment, everything to the child.  But in your wonderful wisdom you know there must be more. You question what you draw on from your past. Is that what you want for your child?  You question what others do give their children. Is that what you want for your child?  It’s not about material things. It’s one of those elusive, amazing things that love supplies.

It’s the knowing, the knowing what a cry might mean, or what a silence might mean. And that can only be found by being with the child, seeing them, watching them. For their energy is part of your energy, and it is your job to bring them to a place where they can be strong enough to stand at the edge of the nest and fly, to soar like the most magnificent eagle.  And yes, it is a big job. And yes, it’s important to think about it—that a mother is a human being, a spirit in body, that teaches, that loves, that grows.

The greatest thing the child learns is from watching you. And that’s what you are questioning my dear. You question that you’re not happy. You question that you’ve made choices that you don’t feel you would make now. You worry about your relationship and wonder what that is teaching your child.

These are the things that are important to think about. And you do know, in the depth of your heart, where you live, where that perfection and beautiful light is, the survivor, the free will, that beautiful voice isn’t being heard. It’s not being heard by you and so it’s not being heard by your child.

Oh the burdens that lie upon you now, my dear, are very heavy. I’m not surprised that you feel frightened. But let’s dissolve that fear into love. Yes there are burdens on you but you would not change the fact that you’re a mother. You love the fact that you have this amazing life. And you will in every part of you choose what is right for that one. And that perhaps is why this one has come to be with you. To teach you to choose the right thing, for you and for the child.

Oh promises go many ways. It isn’t always the parent teaching the child; often it is the child teaching the parent. Bless you for asking. Bless you for feeling, even if it is sad or somewhat confused. Feel it, embrace it, and turn it into the light and love of who you be. For my child you are a brilliant light and you have much to do and many to teach. Bless you.

If you are to embrace the wonder of you, you must release all that was

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IMG_6866F asks about her difficult relationship with her brother. She feels he is cruel to her and has stopped trying to see him. She wants to know how to ease the pain.

My dearest one, you have such a shield up to protect yourself from barbs. But if you were to put that shield down, and if you were to think that the arrows coming at you were merely ones of love (ones coming from a place of fear and unacceptance), would you feel a need for the armor? No.

When beings send forth negativity it is because they are trying to protect themselves.  In other words, dearest one, your brother feels very unloved, unwanted, as if he was never seen by his parents.  He felt that you were loved more than him. He felt that others were always more important. He felt that he was not important, nor seen.  Sound familiar?

Yes, as you often feel in your own life, in your own path, so did your brother. He didn’t see that he was in a special position or a place of understanding. The opposite was true. In fact it was a mirror in many ways of that that you felt.  Oh yes, different circumstances perhaps, but the same attitude was placed upon him that was placed upon you.

So begin first by forgiving him and forgiving yourself. Forgiving and forgiveness is firstly the most important thing to do for yourself.  For it takes away expectations of changing or doing any act to undo that was.  Forget all that was. You do labor it so; you go back over and over to times that only cause anxiety and tension in your abdomen.

Yes, it’s true, he’s as angry at you as you are at him. But in truth it isn’t at each other though, but at perhaps the circumstances that you were present in.  If you could both just be at peace with who you are and how. You cannot undo that that was, but you can change now by the choices you make. If you change with one little way of thinking from negative to positive, you will then again love him–and yourself. And it matters not what he might say or do, if you believe that all that comes before you is because he truly loves you, you have the power do this, to change, to alter.

You are going around in a mad state right now.  Mad and angry, going over and over many issues that have truly nothing to do with you and your path. They are old perceptions of what you had, or were, or who you be.  Stop that talking. Stop that negative reel that goes on and on in your mind.

How do you stop it? By choosing to. When you hear yourself saying, “If only…”  Then go, “No. He does love me. And I love him.”   And that be it. Put nothing else to it. Hang no other negatives on it.

If you could channel all that energy that you put into worrying about this, think how much lighter you would be.  Let him carry his own burdens, hopefully to make himself peaceful. And you, dearest one, own yours. Each has a path that was united and affected by energies early on. But now you get to choose whether they still can affect you.  In order to do this, you must see this.

You go back and forth, two steps forward, three steps back.  You reach enlightenment and awareness—and then you go, “But what if, and what was and how come?”  No.  If you are to embrace the wonder of you, you must release all that was.  Thank it for creating the amazing being you are—no matter what it was—and move into the light of who you be.

And trust in yourself. For a thought can be a wish, can be a prayer.  And are your prayers worthy of you?  I believe you are a wondrous being, my dear. BE.

Love between a mother and a son

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IMG_2926-1Sable writes: 

My son has had problems for the past 14 years.  I have always been there for him supporting him, providing shelter, listening to him, sending money.  I am not sure if the way I have been supporting him has been in his best interest.  I love him very much.  He has a beautiful heart, and is a gentle soul.  But he keeps putting himself in situations, where he calls me to bail him out.  But now, I am very tired of the drama, and don’t want to hear it anymore.  And I’ve also asked him not to ask me for money anymore.  And as I explained to him, I am on a limited income and am not in a position to send him money. But the boundary keeps sliding.  The last time we spoke, he asked me for money, and I lost it.  I raged, cried and screamed at him.  The wolverine in me appeared.  And I did send him money.  Again, I  gave in. Afterwards, I felt heartbroken and beat up.  It’s not like me to react the way I did, and I hated myself for it.  How can I protect myself and my heart?  How can I support him that would be in his best interest, and to show him that he needs to take responsibility for his life.  I only want the best for him.

The guide’s response:

Dearest one,

Never doubt the love you have for your child.  Never doubt that you have tried all that you consciously understood how to be a mother. It is not that I ask you to reexamine with a microscope, but I want you to look at your path—a blessed being of light. It was as if for the first time you had ever experienced love, in a way you had never known it before. It was love for you and love for your child.  And the love completed and fulfilled you in so many ways. It filled all the corners and the emptiness that you had experienced in your life. It made you feel that you had a place and a purpose, a radiant path for the two of you to walk.

Dearest one, the most powerful job or place to be in the physical world is to be a mother, to give life, to nurture, to protect. Sometimes this becomes confused with the needs of the self, you, present, not the mother. Blessed one, in many ways you have needed this child to be there for you. And you have created a dependency for you felt very much the need to have this love in your life.

Now you see that this love is overwhelming, and you know that there must be a teaching to strengthen this one so that he may stand strong, independent, trusting in self.

Well, you taught him to trust in you, that you would always be there. And you have been, yes, even financially.  Whenever in trouble you taught him that you would be there. And you are, my dear.  So be not angry with this situation, but understand why it is.

And now, you both need to go back to school and learn how to be mother and child, strong and independent, loving and supporting, without need, but with the greatest desire that each should grow and be.

You must own that that you have done. You must speak openly to him and you must say that you have created this, out of love for him. But that you now see that this has not helped him be strong. But in fact you believe that he is week and he must change this and believe that he is strong.  Trust that the way will be found by him.

The conversation, security, back and forth, is not a means of gutting and ending. You will always be this one’s mother, a guiding light. You can do this without it being a burden on you, but in fact an amazing gift to you. To understand that you have places within your being that are empty, and you need to fulfill them–not with things or stuff or money, but with love of self. Not in need, not “need” if you understand what I mean, but with love, gentle pure sweet love of self. And love for your child.  This can be. You need to stop in place and accept and be—-one to each other—in the most uncomplicated way.

Both will try to complicate the message and the means by which you achieve it. If you truly both stop and just simply be together with gentle words of love, support.  Conversation can give greater keys for growth than money ever could.

As to your burdening yourself with your thoughts and your mind, forgive yourself, love yourself. Look upon your child as a bright light, a wonderful gift, and you shall proceed in this.  Bless you, my dear.

Dreams are created by the conscious mind

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IMG_0523Funtastick writes:

I keep having a dream that a man breaks into my home.  In the dream, I come from the back to find that the door has been unlocked.  I usually see the burglar, but the house is dark and the lights don’t seem to work.  I wake up feeling very afraid to the point where I put something behind my door to help me feel safe and hopefully keep anyone from getting in.  I find that doing this alleviates my fears. 

Is this a warning of an impending real life event?  Please tell me why I have this dream repeatedly and what does it mean.  I know that my father often comes to me when I need to be warned of something in real life.    Following that dream, I had one where a woman told me to use my third eye to read the Bible.  Thank you.

The guide’s response:

Dreams are created by your conscious mind, my dear. So every being in your dream is an aspect of you: what you believe they are, what you believe you are, in your conscious mind, not your spirit mind. The creation of the actual energy in the dream is from the spirit. The conscious mind puts in the players and all the pieces.

You are full of anxiety. You do fear someone taking over your life and controlling you.  And as to a third eye, everyone has one. You just needed to understand that it wasn’t just the bible that you needed to read, but you needed to see you.

There are so many things that have been said to you from the Bible that you no longer trust in. Trust in yourself. Dreams are wonderful tools to learn about yourself. You feel your house is dark, and frightful sometimes. That the world is frightful and might come in and get you. It isn’t, dearest. Your world wants to embrace you. But you must be the one who opens to it and trusts it.

Bless you my child. Bless you for you are love.

Maintaining balance

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When we choose from a soul level to walk with love and we are surrounded by others with many different energies, fear or upset, how do we be with them while not losing our own center?

It will happen when you are least expecting it, that is when you will be distorted by another’s energies.

If you are consciously aware of their state of being and the out pour of your being to them surrounds them in light, they cannot distort you.  Do not be so guarded that you cannot be open.  Identify it when another being distorts you.    No, I don’t believe you could say “you’ve distorted me.”   But you could say” I feel you are upset, speak to me. “   Do not own what is theirs.  Do not do their growing for them.

Yet, if your state of being is one of strength and love you will maintain your center.

A feeling of not being good enough

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May asks how she can boost her self-confidence.  She says she often feels she is not good enough.  For example when people complement her on her singing she batters herself.  She has very little self-esteem and is worried about her exams.

 

Dearest one, you are an amazing being.  You might think that your ancient culture is part of this.  Societies often set rules of acceptance by beings.  But you have surpassed all of these needs of society’s rules, dearest one.  It is hard for you to be on both sides of this understanding, for that is how you feel.  You feel you walk a tightrope in the middle, not sure where you belong.  Firstly you belong within you.  You are a beautiful being and you will do very well in school.  Worry not about how others do and don’t judge yourself against them.  Judge yourself not against anyone.

Partially these are old understandings that you are trying to move away from.  They are like an old memorized tape that goes on and on in your mind.  It is in your conscious mind, not your spirit mind.  Your spirit is awareness and consciousness is mostly through your heart openings.  And you do great battle between the two and that is why you often find singing a wonderful release for you.  But speaking not.  When you ask questions you freeze up but when you’re allowed to use your voice to pour out beautiful energy you feel freed.  Never stop that.  Sing to the rafters—and judge yourself not.  Many things are opening for you now, so quickly, so fast that you might want to retreat to old ways.  But just be still, breathe, and remember you cannot undo growth.  Just bask in in it for a while.  It will feel comfortable in a while, my blessed one.

A conversation with a guide about fear

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A guide we refer to as the Professor shared the following:

The most important thing is to find joy, happiness, laughter and peace.  It is interesting, this overturn (a term used previously  by the guides as the “overturn of souls”)  how so many seem to live in their fear.

Do you mean like some believing in a pending the polar shift or with the Mayan calendar that life will end in December?

Not even that.  They fear what they eat.  They fear where they walk.  It seems to be the basic energy of the day instead of just awakening and moving through this amazing dimension which offers such growth and opportunity in the beauty in a written book, or in a flower, or in the face of a being that is grasping at life.

Why are so many people fascinated with the negative, the sad or the frightening?

They like adrenaline rushes.

But there is adrenaline with happiness.

Yes, a different form.  A different form indeed.  There is a hormone for every emotion in the physical body.  You know that tears that are cried in pain have a different chemical equation than tears that are cried in laughter and this is the same with this adrenaline.

Long ago when a being came upon a creature and was startled the adrenaline would rush through the body and fire into fight.  Well, now that isn’t happening so instead they switch on the TV, they hear something and fire into fight.  But instead of the fight with the feeling they have present in their body they just feel horrendously anxious and it computes as fear or helplessness.  Information that is given where you don’t have a choice over it can cause a great deal of anxiety.  So, you have to learn how to receive information and not let it affect your physical being.

It is almost as a child you tell them this is just not real, it is a story.  But that isn’t true as your conscious intellect tells you this is true, these things are happening.  What can I do as a person? Well, you can choose to not even listen.

So be more selective about what we are willing to be exposed to?

Or be exposed, listen to it and stand in it but don’t repeat it over and over and over.  Stand in it and have a good strong feeling about it, maybe an action can follow.  I don’t mean to go out and hurt anybody but you can make choices in your life that can affect some of these things that you are fearful about.

Availability of love to give and receive

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Hello Helpers and Guides. Thank you for the work that you do.  Why do I seem to be so “hooked” on Kyle? He does not appear to have the same interest in me, plus I think he has a drinking problem. I have problems too. I want to be with him, but is he good for me, and will I have to lose weight before I would meet him in person so that he will be attracted to me?

You said that there were 3 coming my way. I have a little concern since I have taken some steps back in my spiritual growth that I may miss those three. Know that I work on moving forward, but I have worked on it for so long that I tire of suffering.

How can a child who did not receive the love that it needed from its mother and as a result has suffered greatly become whole like a child who was nourished and loved from infancy? One has the foundation for life and the other does not. How can the one who does not be expected to behave and more importantly feel like the one who has?  Thank you in advance.

 Do not compare yourself to other beings, blessed one.  You and your path are what you needed to grow, to learn, to understand.   And when one has knowledge one then has the ability to make a choice, a different choice, the choice to have a better availability of love to receive it and to give it.  Compare yourself not to another being.  From where you stand you may look to have a perfect life.  Trust me my child, a perfect life can have many difficulties in it, for your life is perfect and in its imperfections it creates growth for you. 

It is not too late.  You haven’t done so many wrongs that you cannot be that that you need to be.  No, dear, you have lost nothing, but gained much.  It is time to be that that you are.

 You are putting a lot of time on your path appeasing others, making sure they were happy, putting your own need to grow and to be and experience all  in the form of a life last.  And now you feel that you don’t have time.   That you’ve done some wrong and won’t have that opportunity.  You do, it is at your fingertips. 

Take time to be still and look upon your path.  Even though you’ve had such difficulties you love.  You love all beings, those that have held you back, those that have limited you.  This is an amazing being that can do this.  Bless you my cherub.  You love this being because you love beings.  You are not so hooked on this being as you are with the great desire to love someone in a permanent, strengthening, supportive way. 

Look back on what you have learned.  Take time now to listen again, a new understanding of who you are. Bless you my child.

Feeling lonely and tired

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Scarlet – Hello Guides, am feeling so very lonley. Lonely and tired. Tired of feeling lonely. Is there anything you can tell me about those close to me, my partner or family or myself that will help me ease this terrible feeling. What to do? Much love and thanks to all who come together to create this wonderful blog.

Well, my dearest, in a way you have created this situation.  No, I am not blaming you, but you are very much have to do it yourself, do it perfectly, ask for no help, never speaking of your inner most needs, or feelings.  He is busy. He is not seeing you.  He is not hearing what you speak.  He is not very intuitive, dearest one.  He doesn’t pick up on your signals.  He doesn’t know that you long for that lovely joyous intimacy, or conversation.  He does not think you need him to see you and all of who you be. 

If you would say it out loud right now, that way, he would be confused because he would say you look fine.  That is not what you want, my dear.  So, you must begin a process of bringing him into your world, as if educating him on you.  Little discussions and then checking to say something I know you would be interested in just to make sure he is following suit. 

He is not a bad person, by any means, my dear, you’ve just in subtle ways you have spoiled him, my dear, met all of his needs and made sure he didn’t have to think too much about you. And you must be the one to change this, dearest. 

As to your family, dearest one, you have been the peacemaker, the one to fix it, the one who did all of the planning.   You have to let them know that you cannot change them if they choose not to. 

So, you must find ways in which to make yourself happy and be seen.  You’ve sort of closed yourself off in a way from any other communications which you’ve had and it would be very good to start opening some of those.   Old friends that you haven’t spoken to for a very long time have become very busy.  You need to look outside of that now and seek that friendship. Share who you are with them. 

You are a wonderful, talented being.  You are a great friend if you allow yourself time.  You have great abilities to help people with their problems and in so doing this they think you have none.  It is alright for you to talk about what you need.  It is alright to ask for help, dearest.   Don’t think they will think less of you.  They will feel loved enough to be asked.  Bless you, my dearest.